Setting boundaries can feel difficult, especially when you’ve been conditioned to prioritize others over yourself. You might find yourself struggling with the internal conflict that arises when your relationship with external situations doesn't shift. This conflict often stems from a lack or fear-based perspective—believing that if you don’t control or eliminate the hard feelings, things will spiral. But that approach rarely works.
Putting Yourself First—Without Guilt
It can be hard to put yourself first without feeling selfish or inconsiderate of others. When you’re used to solving problems or thinking your needs can’t be met, you may overgeneralize and assume that if you can alleviate others’ struggles, everything will feel better. However, this doesn’t have to be an all-or-nothing mindset. There is an and, not a but.
You can consider yourself and still care for others. In fact, much like the flight attendant instructing you on an airplane to put your own oxygen mask on before helping others, this applies to boundaries as well. If you don’t ensure you’re “breathing,” you risk coming from a space of exhaustion, resentment, and anxiety rather than a place of nurturing, support, and value.
Shifting Your Mindset: Creating Space for Both You and Others
Changing this belief is challenging, but also possible. It requires creating a new way of being that supports both yourself and those in your life. This shift involves more than just saying "no"—it's about addressing how you show up in the world.
Here’s the truth: you can care for others without overextending yourself. But first, you may need to reflect on how you got here. What past experiences shaped your current perspective? Do you believe your needs matter? If not, why not?
Building a New Relationship with Yourself
Who do you need to become to foster a relationship with yourself where both your needs and others’ can coexist? Shifting this mindset takes work, but with the right support, it’s possible to move from a lack-based mindset to one of abundance, where boundaries aren’t walls but invitations to healthier, more sustainable relationships with yourself and others.
If you’re ready to step outside of your current functioning and address the barriers to this new perspective, I can help. Together, we can explore what’s been holding you back and how to build a mindset that supports your well-being while nurturing your relationships.
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